How to really love your child.

by dr Ross Campbell

This book is amazing. It's funny because it was somethign casually handed to me by a friend. But I think it's one of the best things I've read in a long time. I'm not  a reader, at all. The last book I read was another parenting book, like 2 summers ago? Wow that's bad. But anyways, this book, I could not put down. I read it all in 3 days, I think.

The main concept of the book is that yes, almost all parents love their children deeply. But some of the things we do dont reflect that. The main ways it says we show love, is eye contact, physical contact, and focus time spent with only them. So these are the main areas I'm going to work on. Especially focus time. Children have "emotional tanks." If we are lacking in one of these areas (or perhaps others, not listed) children will start to act out. Sometimes they supress it for longer than others. But repressed hurt and anger will inevitably surface.  The objective is to raise a child such that they know they are unconditionally loved. Even when they make mistakes, even when WE'RE having a bad day, etc. We still love them regardless. And if their emotional tanks are full, you're much less likely to run into behavioural/psychological problems.

Seriously LEARN how to drive.

Caution. Loud, angry rant ahead:

Is it hard to understand that a 4 way intersection might not necessarily be a 4 way stop? That you, yes you, might in fact have the right away? And that perhaps the 2 people in front of you, that barely slowed down, to turn, while the rest of us waited patiently, might in fact be a sign that you too, should procede forward?
Also, is it impossible to believe that a lane crossing through a median, might be ONLY for the traffic on the side road, and not a place for you to do a U-turn? You might gather that by the impossibly sharp angle they created it on. And by the way you got stuck and had to drive up OVER the median to get through. Or perhaps by the angry, honking drivers behind you.
Really, there was a back lane about 20 feet ahead that you could do a 2 point turn quite easily. But no. Where's the fun in obeying the law, when you could perform illegal maneuvers in a places commonly surveilanced by ghost cars?
Have they not seen them?
Finally is it hard to park IN a parking space, and not on the line or partway in to my space? Don't be surprised when there are dings in your door. I gotta get my son in his seat somehow.
Winnipeg has THE WORST drivers in the world. Canada's Worst Driver could come and pick 10 random people and make a show, I'm not kidding.
I'm moving back to Vancouver.

Some food for thought.

So today, I'm doing a fast. I ate breakfast so it's going til tomorrow morning. Just 24 hours. Sort of a detox from the last couple days of Christmas and birthday treats, and a place to start over.
I've never done a fast before but I know that I get headaches if I don't eat every few hours. So I was reading up on what to do about that. Blah blah, drink your water, not much help. But I did come across this extra handy tip for fasting.

Visit an ER if you are bleeding and believe you may need stitches

Thank you, eHow. Becuase sometimes when you're fasting, random injuries appear....
Just food for thought.

Happy birthday to my son!

Wow. Has it really been 2 years since the best and most life changing experience of my life? Where does the time go?

In honour of DS's birthday, here's a quick summary of how everything went that crazy day:

I'll never forget, Saturday night we went out for Tyler's birthday. The in-laws took us to Pizza Hut. I barely fit in the booth. Not even kidding. We joked about how I was a week from my due date, but probably 3 weeks til the baby was here. I fully expected to go overdue.

That night DH went out for a couple drinks with a friend, and I got soup and cake made for Sunday lunch.
We finally crawled into bed around 3am, and not even 2 hours later I woke up with strange pains. They didn't feel like labour... and they were actually more irregular than my braxton hicks. So it took us a while to figure it out. But by 6am I was in a lot of pain and called the midwife.

She took her time getting here. About and hour. You know, first labour and all. Well she walked in the door and I was almost fully dilated. Commence pushing for an  hour....

Finally, (or before you know it?) little William was here!! 3.5 hours after we first woke up. lol. William wanted out, and he wanted out now!

By then the IL's would have been out of church, so we called and said "sorry we slept in, but you can still come for lunch." We knew mom and dad were probably shaking their heads. "Those kids, missing church. Shame, shame." lol. Well they got the shock of their lives when they walked in the door! A brand new grandson. All snuggled up in a whole bunch of blankets.

Ahh we can't wait to do it again some day. What a miracle a new baby is.

Pregnancy is everywhere

As with TTC #1, I'm finding being around pregnancy, pregnancy everywhere to be difficult. There's no way in heck I'm going to avoid my (many) pregnant friends for 9 months (or friends with newborns.) And when I'm bored, going online passes the time. But all my main sites are baby/pregnancy related. Which is great for chatting about William, but...

I have no interest in TV, really. The only shows I enjoy seem to be "a baby story" and the like. But obviously those are hard to watch at the moment. And even while watching other programs, there's ALWAYS a First Response or Clearblue commercial to remind you of your deepest frustrations.

So I guess right now I'm just stuck. I can do housework or something to keep my mind off it. Isn't that fun? Obviously I can play with William, and I have a ton of hobbies I enjoy. But even then, it doesn't leave my mind. Make it leave my mind! I really dispise having the same thought in my head non stop for a year and a half, (or who knows how long.) You could say relax and it'll happen (which no, relaxing doesn't cure infertility,) but even then. Like the good old Clearblue commercial says. "If you think you might be pregnant, it's hard to think about anything else." Um yeah. And even if you know you aren't right now... thinking you might in a week or 2 makes it hard to think of anything else. As IF thinking about it non stop is going to make it happen... If it did, I'd be pregnant.

So I guess I'm just doomed to live with this until that magical clomid does it's thing. I hate it. I really do. (And yes, yes, yes. I know God is in control of it all. And there's a plan for it all. But sometimes it's hard to see the plan while it's unfolding, and deal with it day by day.  So that's where this blog comes in, to allow me to vent. And I'm sure many can sympathize....

The first negative

I'm probably not going to talk to much about my current situation TTC, because like most people, if I do get pregnant I'd like to keep it a secret for a couple weeks. And if you're from the Pink site you already know where I'm at, but. For anyone following, that might be struggling with infertility or miscarriages... you probably know. That first negative after a miscarriage is pretty heartbreaking.
I debated for a long time on whether or not I should test early. If I was pregnant, it would be a great present for my husband and son's birthdays (on the 13th and 14th.) But if I wasn't I might be bummed and spoil the celebrations....
Finally I decided that knowing is better. Not knowing drives me nuts. So I tested, and what-do-ya-know. Big Fat Negative. Even though I know that it's probably just too early... Bummed would be an understatement. I'm pretty crushed.
Praying hard for tomorrow...

Birthdays!!

Yesterday we had a combination party for Tyler and William. Their birthdays aren't til the 13th and 14th respectively, but you know how the Christmas season is. People are all booked up later in the month.
I think we picked a good day because lots of people showed, I think everyone had a great time, all the kids behaved and had a blast, and even the host got to sit and relax!
2 candles on William's cake this year. Where did the time go? Seems like just yesterday I was baking a cake for Tyler's birthday, unaware that within about 8 hours I'd have a newborn in my arms. <3
Ohhh how I miss the newborn days. I just love teeny little babies. But I'm really enjoying watching William grow and learn new things, of course. He's putting together a few words into short sentences lately. It boggles our minds, really. How can they change so much in 2 years?!
Well, Lord willing we'll have another newborn to hold one day. And then we'll start this whole thing over again. lol. Fretting over how they're growing too fast.
Slow down, babies. Just stay little.

Healthy eating (sorry, long!)

Where to start. I guess at the very begining.

Growing up, we ate pretty well. My mom prepared square meals for us, we had fast food occasionally but not 5 times a week. We had some snacks, sometimes healthy snacks, sometimes junk. But all in all I think it came out even. I was fairly active as a kid, joined all the school sports teams, etc. But I guess, like all kids, I was self concious of my body. Who isn't? 

And then a strange thing happened when I moved out. I could eat whatever I wanted... Not being the best cook, my husband and I ate a fair bit of "bachelor food," as we call it. Not reading the lables (well, maybe the number of calories, but not realizing it was for only a fraction of a portion!) I gained a little weight. Not a lot. And I'm tall so perhaps most people don't notice. But one day my BOSS started commenting to my coworkers that I looked like I had a "baby bump!" A) How completely unprofessional. I could have probably had his job over it, and B) I worked as a lifeguard, parading around in a swim suit in front of literally hundreds of people each day. And he was going to give me body issues?! C) Everyone knew we were having trouble conceiving, rub salt in the wound, won't you? I could only wish that my giant fat belly was a baby bump.

I was peeved. I lost a lot of weight very quickly after that. But just a couple months later, I got pregnant with my son. I started eating whatever again. I gained your average amound of weight with my pregnancy. But by the time I had him I was just itching to see the scale drop again instead of rise. So, knowing what worked for me last time, once again, I lost a lot of weight very quickly.

I would have been proud of myself but I did it in all the wrong ways. I looked at only the numbers. I didn't think about WHERE these calories were coming from. Which, left me hungry a lot of the time, but I refused to go over X amount. And also I was eating a lot of prepackaged food, still. Special K bars? Oohh only 90 calories. Guess what. No protein. Tastes good but doesn't fill you up worth a crap. But I didn't care at the time. I just wanted the weight gone.

The only problem was that it's not maintainable. And that prepackaged food leaves you feeling like crap, with all it's preservatives...

So my weight fluctuated ever since. And like most people, I constantly fought the urge to eat a bowl of icecream, eat this, eat that. This past halloween? I don't even want to think about it. I literally had a candy hangover. I read somewhere that a woman's body can only handle a teaspoon of refined sugar per day. Well I was way beyond that. No wonder I felt like I was made of lead in the morning.

So one day I thought to myself "There's gotta be a better way." Cutting calories or even mild dieting leaves me feeling deprived. Eating whatever tastes good leaves you feeling like crap. What about just NOURISHING your body? What a novel concept!!" And that was just it. Something inside my head switched and I just havent gone back. I found this blog and it has really helped cement the idea. I think 2 of my favourite quotes are "eat food, not too much, mostly plants." (not her original) and "Had I never developed the notion to restrict what I ate, I may have never eaten myself into obesity." so true... We create this sinfulness about food. And it makes us just want it all the more. We deprive ourselves for one day and then we binge for 5 on more than we would have had we just had a little the one day!
http://notsobigk.wordpress.com/

I started looking up new recipes. Making more meals from scratch. Nothign insane but small changes, as much as I could. Listening to my cravings, because there's a reason for them! Having a little and putting it away. Eating when I'm hungry. Stopping when I'm full. Imagine that!

It feels amazing, physically and emotionally. I lost a lot of bloat! My tummy is so much flatter... Oddly enough, I think about food LESS in the day. I don't have that urge to binge at all. I don't even crave chocolate. Isn't that weird? Ok that's a lie. Sometimes I have a little. But it's nothing like it used to be. There isn't that regret or guilt that so many people have after eating  junk. Sure you can have a little treat, then move on with your day! The less junk you eat the less you will crave them. I crave much healthier things now. I surprise myself...

Anyways. Sorry for the lecture. Wow. Told you I was passionate about things...