Pregnancy is everywhere

As with TTC #1, I'm finding being around pregnancy, pregnancy everywhere to be difficult. There's no way in heck I'm going to avoid my (many) pregnant friends for 9 months (or friends with newborns.) And when I'm bored, going online passes the time. But all my main sites are baby/pregnancy related. Which is great for chatting about William, but...

I have no interest in TV, really. The only shows I enjoy seem to be "a baby story" and the like. But obviously those are hard to watch at the moment. And even while watching other programs, there's ALWAYS a First Response or Clearblue commercial to remind you of your deepest frustrations.

So I guess right now I'm just stuck. I can do housework or something to keep my mind off it. Isn't that fun? Obviously I can play with William, and I have a ton of hobbies I enjoy. But even then, it doesn't leave my mind. Make it leave my mind! I really dispise having the same thought in my head non stop for a year and a half, (or who knows how long.) You could say relax and it'll happen (which no, relaxing doesn't cure infertility,) but even then. Like the good old Clearblue commercial says. "If you think you might be pregnant, it's hard to think about anything else." Um yeah. And even if you know you aren't right now... thinking you might in a week or 2 makes it hard to think of anything else. As IF thinking about it non stop is going to make it happen... If it did, I'd be pregnant.

So I guess I'm just doomed to live with this until that magical clomid does it's thing. I hate it. I really do. (And yes, yes, yes. I know God is in control of it all. And there's a plan for it all. But sometimes it's hard to see the plan while it's unfolding, and deal with it day by day.  So that's where this blog comes in, to allow me to vent. And I'm sure many can sympathize....